Victor's new obsession
by Drunkenorc
Summary: A story about victor getting a new chess program. All is going well in Cauduceus until suddenly, a cry is hear from Victor's room... Warning: contains people throwing up and a phoenix wright cross over.


**Victor's new obsession**

And the chaos it leads to :D

* * *

click

_Hmm… what's this? _Victor thought to himself. _Ooohh, an update to my chess program. I could use something new do to during break. I wonder what it is?_

"Hey Victor!"

_Gah, not Derek again… I'll just set it to download it's self._ "What…?"

"The toilets clogged, the janitors not here, and it's your turn to clean it out!"

"But it's my _break!_"

"You won't get another chance for the rest of the day, Victor."

"Fine, fine. I'll do it." Victor said as he closed his laptop and headed to the janitors closet.

The next day

"ahhh… sweet, sweet break at la- update complete? Oh right! I forgot, the new chess program. I think I'll try it now. Hm… three new difficulty settings, different backgrounds, new music, music? Hm. I don't listen to music. I'll just mute it. And… that's it. Ok, let's get cracking." Victors talking trailed of into thought. _Now we have skill level "very hard" "very very hard" "pretty darn hard" "seriously tricky" and "PAIN". pain, huh? Well, we'll see about that. But I'll do them all in order._

Zero point zero one four three eight seconds later

_All done. Now, let's try "pain"._

"Hey Victor!"

"what is it, Tyler?"

"Whacha doin'?"

"Chess."

"Uh, how's it going?"

"Fine."

"So… you been doing it long?"

"Yes."

"You any good at it?

"Yes."

"Wanna play a round?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because last time we played I had to remind you the rules every turn because you're either a very blatant cheater or an imbecile. And I don't want to relive that experience. Don't you have patients to treat?"

"No, they rescheduled."

"Interesting. Now go away."

"But I'm boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooard…"

"Why don't you go bother Derek? Or Angie or Sidney? Or **anyone** but me?"

"Because they all locked there doors."

"Good idea! See you Tyler!"

"WHAT? No! I was jok-"SLAM! Click

"Just read a book in the lobby ok?"

"Victor, come on! Open up! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?? Derek is in the bathroom and Angie keeps giving me that look-

Victor plugged his ears with Kleenex.

"-And Sidney threatened to fire me but I knew he wouldn't but then he threatened to lower my pay and I wouldn't put that past him-"

"TYLER WILL YOU SHUT UP ALREADY!"

"-so I left and now you've locked your door and I'm loanly and board and I wan' to hang out and do cool stuff and-"

click Victor opened the door a crack.

"O.K. Tyler, if I told you I was holding a knife behind this door, what would you do?"

"Hmmmmmmmmmmm… probably stop bugging you."

"Good. Hey Tyler, guess what I found in my desk drawer??"

Victor had never seen Tyler run so fast.

_Well, now that that's done. Let's try that difficulty._

About five minutes later

"DARN IT!"

_What was that?_ Derek thought it to himself as he passed Victors room. "Victor, are you ok?"

"Hm? Yes Derek I'm fine. But my computer isn't working."

"It isn't? Let me see."

"Derek, If I don't know how to fix it. Then you sure wouldn't."

Derek opened the door and stepped inside. "Didn't you once say that sometimes an idiot can do what a genius can't? You remember, when I solved that puzzle you couldn't do."

"Look, I've told you, I easily could have done it. In half the time it took you. I was testing you.

"Sure you were, now can you show me what's wrong with it?"

"Sigh ok, look."

Victor started a chess program, play for about 30 seconds. Then the computer beat him.

"See?"

"Err…" Mumbled Derek. "I don't see what's wrong."

Victor raised his eyebrows. "Come on Derek, your not _that_ stupid. It's not letting me make my move."

"Well, yeah. You lost."

"Huh?"

"You lost… you computer beat you"

"Derek, that's insane. I'm unbeatable at chess."

"Victor… it says game over on the screen."

Victor stared for a minute. Blinked a few times, and shook his head. "No it doesn't."

"Victor, Where is your king?"

"It's right… It's right… Right… right… right…

Four minutes later

Right… right… right… right…"

"VICTOR!" shouted Derek

"Derek, what are you doing in my office?"

"Wait, what?"

"I said 'What are you doing in my office?' didn't you hear me?"

"Err… yeah. See ya Victor." Derek mumbled as he left.

The next day

_I hope victors not still mad at me…_ Tyler thought as he walked down the hall. "Err, hi Victor, Sidney needs a report on- DEAR LORD VICTOR!" Now, Victor never has looked to well and healthy, but this was different. His skin was almost literally white, His hair ruffled and messy. He had bags under his eyes and bags under his bags. He was hunched at his laptop. "What happened to you??"

"HISSSSSSSSSSSSS!!" Victors pale eyes flared yellow as he spat in Tyler's direction. "Leave us… go away… ghrrraaaa…"

"Victor… let's go over and see Sidney now, O.K? I think you need a break…"

"_Never! _You'll never take me! I must win… I must…"

"Victor, Go home. Take a nap. Seriously dude, you look awful."

Meanwhile, in victor's brain.

"Come on!" said Victors sanity, "Victor needs to sleep, and eat. And take a shower. Who cares if he lost some dumb chess game.

Unfortunately, this is the last thing Sanity ever said. As immediately after he was stabbed repeatedly by Victor's ego. Then his body was burned by Victors Rage and Inner psycho.

Back to Victor's office

"SIDNEY!! VICTOR'S TRYING TO KILL MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!"

Tyler ducked as a carving knife slammed into the door above him. And rolled behind the couch as two more hit the door and then one hit the wall. _Wait, why does victor keep multiple carving knives in his office…?_ Victor threw a few more vainly at the couch, and then went back to his chess game.

"Victor? Sidney said he sent Tyler to get you but that you didn't- …Why are there carving knives in door and wall?" Derek froze when he saw Victor. "Oh holy, what happened?"

Victor stopped typing. Slowly turning his head towards Derek. "_Get. out_."

"Victor, you've gone _insane!_ here, get these knives out of the wall.

"Derek, is that you?" Tyler shouted from behind the couch.

"Tyler?! Where are you?"

"I'm behind the couch, Victor was throwing Knives at me! Quick, run and get help!"

"Wha? This is insane! You can't expect me to believe that Victor was using weapons at you! I mean, Victor, you're-" Derek stopped dead in his sentence. When he turned to look at victor he was holding a pistol, and he had _that_ look. _That_ Look means one of two things. One: You just stepped on neatly filed paperwork. Two: Murderous intent.

Derek looked at his feet. No paper work.

"Um… Ok… Tyler… When I say go, head for the window. I'll get Sidney."

Tyler nodded, then realized he was hidden behind a couch. "Got it."

When Derek said go, several things happened at once. Derek himself ran out the door, locked it, and headed for Sidney's office. Tyler bolted for the window, grabbed Victor' wallet, and jumped out. Then he remembered he was on the 11th floor. Victor shot a Derek and Tyler, then continued playing chess. And the Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers© Flew by the building and saved Tyler.

"Gee, thanks Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers©!" said Tyler.

"No problem!" Said the Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers©.

"Doesn't that © that appears right after you say 'Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers©' get really annoying when you say Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers© a lot?"

"Yeah, it kind of does." Said the Red Ranger©.

"Do you have to appear after there _names_ to?" Asked Tyler.

"Not really, but I enjoy making you mad." Said the ©.

The Black Ranger© then kicked the © so hard that it shattered into a bajillion tiny pieces and never appeared at the end of Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers again.

"Won't we get sued now?" Asked Tyler.

"Probably." Said the Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers.

Then the Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers dropped Tyler off at his house.

_Meanwhile, at the bat cave._

"Holy snot balls Batman! We have to stop Victor Before he kills someone!"

"What the? Didn't I tell you to just go home, Robin? Leave me alone! How did you get in here?? I BARED MY WINDOWS!"

"I crawled in through the sewers! Hey, can I drive the Bat Mobile?"

_Meanwhile, at caduceus._

"Sidney! Sidney! Victor's gone MAD!" Derek burst through the door to Sidney office.

Sidney calmly rose from his paperwork. "Derek, what have I told you about putting your speech before actions?"

"Oh, sorry Sidney. BUT THIS IS REEEEAALLY IMPORTANT!" Derek said as he slammed his fists on Sidney's desk.

Sidney tried to catch paperwork as it floated through the air. "Darn it Derek, You did it again! Now, please, just _calmly_ tell me what's going on."

Derek took a deep breath of air. "Victor lost a chess program and he's trying to kill everyone who gets near him! We've got to stop him!"

Sidney threw up on his desk. "WHAT? VICTOR LOST A CHESS PROGRAM! THAT'S OUTRAGOUS! I mean, Ahem" Sidney straitened his glasses. "This is quite serious. We need to quarantine his room until he wins, and then lower his pay."

"Wait, why lower his pay?" Derek sat down.

"Derek! You did it again! Now I'll have to lower your pay."

Derek threw up on Sidney's desk. "No, no! Please! I can do it right! Don't lower my pay!"

"GRRAGGAARARRAGGAGRARGARGRGAGRGAGRAGRGRRAAAA!"

"What was that?!" Sidney shouted as he bolted upright and threw up on his desk.

"I don't know!" Derek shouted he bolted upright and threw up on Sidney's desk.

"I said 'Please don't lower my pay, Sidney.' Only there was a live weasel in my throat at the time." Victor said as he burst through the wall of Sidney's office.

Sidney opened the window to lessen the smell of puke. "Oh, alright. But you will have to pay for the wall. Where is the weasel now?"

"Hm…" Derek mumbled as he threw things out the window at people down in the street. "I wonder if the weasel is still in Victor's office…?"

"Of course I can explain where the weasel is! I never make claims without proof!" Said Phoenix Wright.

"Ha! Very funny right, we all know you bluff your way through court half the time. So tell us, Wright! WHERE IS THE WEASEL NOW??" Shouted Edgeworth.

"The weasel is in this very court room! Victor has eaten it! HAHAHA! TAKE THAT EDGEWORTH! YOU CAN'T STOP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!"

"I'M A PRETTY GIRL!" Shouts the judge.

"Why are we in court?" Asked Sidney.

"Why did the judge just say he's a girl?" Asked Victor.

"Why does that Spiky haired man in a blue suit seem to look and act so much like me?" Asked Derek.

"Why are there three people asking random questions in this court room?" Asked Edgeworth.

"Why does this courtroom have to explode in four sentences?" Asked Phoenix.

"Wait, what?" Asked Edgeworth.

Suddenly, the courtroom exploded. Leaving a lot of unanswered questions that can only be explained in a sequel that will be made, lost, remade, found, burned, submitted in triplicate, and eaten.

The above sentence may or may not be taken as a hint that I will make a sequel.

TEH END

_Note, I do not claim to own any of the above characters. Although I would sell my soul to make it so, I do not own phoenix wright or trama center or any related characters. Nor do I own the mighty morphen' power rangers._


End file.
